The difference between these two pictures is that the version of me on the left is extremely depressed, full of mounting stress, and suffering badly from general anxiety disorder.  On the right, I am not quite as depressed, anxiety has improved somewhat, and stressors are still there, but I am dealing with them in a more positive way.  These pictures are a representation of what high levels of stress hormones can do to the body.  Chronically elevated levels of cortisol raise your blood pressure, increase blood sugar levels, cause carbohydrate cravings, promote insulin resistance, suppress immunity, decrease muscle mass, increase bone loss, and cause fat deposits in the face, neck, and abdomen area.  I don’t know about the bone loss, but I certainly experienced all these other symptoms.  My sleep quality was horrible, my waistline was increasing, my cravings for carbs were constant, my blood pressure was very high, my strength was decreasing, and I don’t think I went two weeks this whole past winter without being sick with some sort of cold, flu, or virus.

When it comes to health and fitness, you need to take care of the whole package.  I believe that each one of us is made up of a physical body, a mental body, and a spiritual body.  When these three are not in balance, symptoms or illnesses begin to develop as your body is trying to tell you there is a problem.  For the last few years I have had several stressors that have been building up as I kept pushing them to the back of my mind, figuring I’ll deal with it later.  The mind, much like the body, needs what we refer to in lifting as a deload phase.  A deload phase in lifting is usually a period of about a week following a few stressful heavy lifting weeks where we lift lighter weights in order to give the body a chance to recover.  My mind was over-taxed and it had been a couple of years since I had taken any sort of mental deload or vacation.  The final straw was my father passing away this past August after a two-year battle with cancer which left me devastated.  I tried to be strong and was afraid to show my emotions because I felt once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop.  Instead of taking some personal time off, I kept driving forward with trying to grow my business and keep up with everything I had going on.  Then everything hit me one afternoon in a crowded grocery store.  I ran in to grab a birthday card for my grandfather when I suddenly felt short of breath, extremely lightheaded, dizzy, and felt like I was about to black out.  I made my way out of the store and couldn’t stop shaking for hours afterwards.  For the next couple of months, I kept experiencing severe panic attacks and remained in a constant state of uneasiness.  When I was around other people or in busy traffic, I felt constant lightheadedness, headaches, blurred vision, shallow breathing, difficulty thinking or remembering things, and a constant racing heart.  I quickly developed a fear of leaving my apartment and cut off communication with most people in my life.  Work began to suffer, bills kept piling up, my body was constantly exhausted, and I was freaking out over every little thing.  I didn’t go to the doctor, which is something I do not recommend to anyone else.  I think getting checked out to make sure nothing serious is going on would be a wise decision and give you a peace of mind.  I was sure I knew what was going on due to my previous experiences with PTSD after a long deployment in Iraq years ago.  I tried counseling in the past which didn’t do a tremendous amount for me and I wasn’t interested in taking any of their medications.  By no means am I against people taking medications and I do believe there is a time and place for that.  As a personal choice, I did not want to take any pills then or now, but rather try to find some natural ways to overcome these symptoms.

Below is a list of some things I found worked for me.  If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, or experience a lot of anxiety, then hopefully some of these things may help you.  It is important to keep in mind that none of these things provided an immediate relief but were things I kept practicing everyday together and continue to practice.  I occasionally still experience some of these symptoms, but at a much lower level.

 

Books

First thing I did was grab every book, audiobook, and YouTube video I could get my hands on.  As far as books go, I found the following to be great:

Switch On Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf  **My favorite of the list**

Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes

Pass Through Panic:  Freeing Yourself from Anxiety and Fear by Dr. Claire Weekes

The Fear & Anxiety Solution by Friedemann Schaub, MD, PhD (also his YouTube channel)

The Stress Proof Brain by Melanie Greenberg, PhD

Worry Free Living by Joyce Meyer (also her YouTube videos)

The Mind Connection:  How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior, and Decisions by Joyce Meyer

Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson, PhD and Richard Mendius, MD

Neurosculpting by Lisa Wimberger

7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety by Arlin Cuncic

 Meditation

I began a daily practice of meditation which I found to be very frustrating at first.  I started only 2-3 minutes at a time and found the app Headspace to be extremely helpful.  All you need to do is find a quiet space, sit relaxed with straight posture, and focus your attention on your breath coming in and going out.  Don’t try to change it, just observe it.  When your attention wanders off to something else, which it will, gently bring it back to your breath.  Eventually I began working my way up to 15 minutes at a time and found great relief from this after a while.  There has been a ton of research on meditation and it has been found to be helpful in reducing stress, anxiety, pain management, and may even prevent memory loss.  Some research has even shown physical shrinkage in the amygdala part of the brain which controls the “fight or flight” response.

Gratitude Journal

I’m not going to lie, I thought this was a corny idea at first, but I tried it for a week straight and found it helped.  Every night before going to bed, take 5 minutes to verbally say or write down 5 things you were grateful for on that particular day.  Could be your family, someone that opened the door for you at work, a parking space near the door, whatever.  It has been scientifically proven that gratitude improves sleep as well as physical and psychological health.

Quit Dwelling on Negative Thoughts

I found through this experience that my thoughts were constantly negative.  That’s common when you are depressed because you’re going to view the world in a very negative way.  If someone cut me off in traffic, my whole day would be ruined because I kept replaying the scenario over and over in my head causing myself to get angrier and angrier.  I try to change my thought pattern and let these things go.  Instead of getting angry for this person cutting me off, I try to imagine that this person just received bad news and is in a hurry to get to someone they love or something like that.

Getting Back to My Faith

I was raised Catholic and have been in and out of the church most of my life.  But for me, I always feel good when I’m back.  I pray a lot and listen to a lot of sermons on YouTube before I fall asleep.  Some of my favorites that speak a great deal about worry and anxiety are Joyce Meyer, Greg Laurie, and Rick Warren.  Even if you aren’t religious, these people provide great advice on this subject and there are plenty of videos on YouTube.

Choose Your Words Wisely

It’s amazing the impact your words can have on your mental state.  Really watch your self-talk and things you might say to yourself such as I can’t do this, I look so fat in this, why do these things always happen to me, etc.  Reword them in a more positive way such as at least I know I’m going to try my best, these clothes are made too small, I certainly get a lot of challenges in my life, but I’m still here and have survived them all.  Sometimes we don’t realize we are putting ourselves down through our self-talk and creating a poor self-image of ourselves.

Move

Movement is so important for our health and wellbeing.  It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, just go for a walk or do some stretching in place.  I couldn’t lift weights for a period of time when my headaches and dizziness were at their worst.  Instead I would walk on a treadmill every morning anywhere from 30-90 minutes depending on the day.  If I had a busy day, I would do 15 minutes here and there throughout the day.  It made a huge difference on my mood and low intensity walking helped clear out some of those high levels of cortisol in my body.

 

Diet

Diet is hard during times of stress, especially when those elevated cortisol levels have you craving carbohydrates.  I handled this by occasionally indulging in something I don’t normally eat in order to keep my sanity.  Most of the time when I had a sweet tooth, I would reach for an apple or other piece of fruit.  I usually stay away from processed foods, fried foods, and except for my rare binges, I do not eat any sugary foods.  If I did, I think my waistline would have increased even greater.  I drank a lot of water and teas, cut out all caffeine which really sucked, and kept my vegetable intake high.  I normally take a multivitamin and fish oil supplement every day, but when my symptoms were bad, I also took Vitamin D, Vitamin B complex, and a magnesium supplement which I think also helped.

Finally, I never did utilize this site as my symptoms began improving, but there is a great website that has plenty of free resources and support for those battling anxiety and depression at https://adaa.org/